Wow, talk about Slacker McSlackerson.... I haven't written on here in a very long time. Halloween was the last time I think.
I got a little discouraged when I had to make it private. And now I am not sure what I can even write about....
Either way, it's Christmas Eve. Santa comes tonight. And there is so much to do and I am incredibly excited.
There is just one problem.
Both my kids are coughing like crazy, didn't sleep a single wink last night and there are signs of RSV all over the daycare.
But, with that.... I am thankful. So very thankful.
As you may have heard, I found out Sunday that an old friend from high school passed away. I hadn't seen or talked to her since school. But it hit me like a ton of bricks.
She had a newborn 9 day old baby boy. And it was so sudden.
She was shopping and showing off the baby and getting Santa pictures and went into a bathroom and never came out. A blood clot.
That is crazy.... Life is so dang short. And unpredictable.
I went to the funeral yesterday and cried for an hour... gave the family hugs and came back to my cubicle at work.
Today I am exhausted from being up all night with sick children, frustrated a little by not having everything finished and I'm annoyed at having to work while everyone else is home.
But also, I am so thankful.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be a mother to my children, to be healthy.... for them to have only a small cough to battle with.
Thank you for my job, my husband and everything that I have in my life.
So, now I can be completely honest about my mentee and work and whatever else I want!!! ha!
I had my meeting today with Kashmir... That is "C". Whew. What a release to not cover it up!!!
I just wish I had saved the old posts so that I could repost for those that missed it.
After the last meeting, the counselor had a discussion with her. She found that Kashmir did admit to asking for items including gold earrings and ipods and Wendy's.
She also stated that these were all things she has never had nor would ever have the chance to have at her own home.
Kind of heartbreaking. But in the same moment ~still kind of still feeling a little manipulated.
This girl is just SO freaking smart!
Either way, I didn't bring her anything this trip and I just suggested playing a game.
We played Sorry and by the end of the 45 minutes, there were 4 other kids at our table playing. Much less "deep" but just as rewarding and it was good to see her come out of her very introverted shell.
Sorry I havent written in a little bit.
Since I removed my last few posts, I am struggling with what to write on this thing. I know everyone does, and I started out writing this as a way to track my kiddos progress since I am terrible at scrapbooking and baby books.
But then it turned into something bigger. A diary of sorts and sadly, a bit of an ego trip since there were strangers that actually cared what I was saying on here.... Heck, I even had people coming up to me at work saying that I missed my calling. That I should be writing for a living.
Now I know I am definitely not that good in reality, but the words made me want to look for important and interesting things to write about.
But that being said (as I always say), I am back to the basics. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings on this thing...
So, as for me, I got back Friday from 5 days in Charlotte, NC which was another professional success and a personal fail.
I have to say that for the most part, my husband did a much more awesome job of leaving the guilt quilt in the drawer and just being supportive. I am very very thankful. Thank you babe if you are reading this. I cannot relay enough how much it means to me.
AND this should be the last one until probably February. Whew....
Did I mention we are all coughing up lungs every five minutes now that I am home? Its awesome.
Well, I made it through my whirlwind Texas tour and am only slightly tired today after spending FAR too much money buying everything from jumpy castles to cutlery for the big 4th birthday party this weekend...
Tomorrow I have 20... yes, 20- children coming into my home (most of which have parents I have never met).
We are celebrating my oldest getting more and more grown up even though I have begged on numerous occasions for her to stop...
I was going to have a small intimate affair but we have families that outnumber even the Brady Bunch and a preschool class that always invites everyone so I just gave up.
Major event it is... Like it or not...
And to top it off, in the midst of all of this work and party planning, my husband had yet another bomb he decided to drop on me.
He found a dog that he loves at the pound.
Its a Bull Mastiff.
That's 110 pounds of animal.
And did I mention that I am allergic and currently getting shots once a week?
Well, this week is going to be a down right crazy one.
Off to Austin tonight... only to be up early in the AM to host a meeting with about 100 or so Insurance agents from around town that I haven't met face to face before...
Then driving back to San Antonio tomorrow AFTER that to wake up to YET another of the SAME early morning meeting here on Wednesday. Then taking a 5AM flight to Houston for the day Thursday. Coffee IV in tow.
But at least I don't have to stay the night that night.
So, my warning to you... If you hear a woman bumping into the walls and cursing how LARGE of a state Texas is, don't you worry your pretty little face.
I haven't blogged in a little while. Mostly because I cannot think of anything either A) juicy enough to justify writing about or B) bland enough that I won't get into trouble for posting it on a public website.
Do any of you out there struggle with the same thing? I mean, I think I could have the most popular blog on the planet if only I didn't have to worry about the consequences of exposing myself. But at the same time.. how many of you really want to read about that my daughter said "dada" for the first time or went to a birthday party this weekend??? So, I am considering blocking my blog and making it "private" so I only let approved readers in to see it. Then I can really get down and dirty... But then, what if someone asks me to let them have access and I have to say "um..sorry. But I cannot let you in to see it because it's mostly about you and all the really annoying things you do?..." Do you see my dilemma? Either way, right now I need to stick with the vanilla. The safe stuff. So, here we go. My oldest daughter has started having accidents in her pants. Pee only. No #2's. At first, I let it go. But its happening a little regularly... Like once a day. And I feel like she is either doing it for attention or just too busy to get over to the bathroom when she is playing. I want there to be a consequence but don't want to punish her. I took her to the doctor this weekend to make sure there was no UTI or underlying medical issues and got the clear. Totally healthy. So, what I want to know is.... what has worked for you guys?
She is already is in charge of cleaning herself up and changing her own clothes. She also usually goes and changes herself and hides the clothes in her hamper. So she knows she shouldn't be wet. What else can I do? Or do I just ignore it?
This parenting gig is hard!!!! I want to do the right thing and not scar her for life or anything but I also don't want pee stains all over my house and furniture when I know she is capable of going to the bathroom.
Ok, this is going to be short and sweet. Well, that is my intention anyway as I start putting the letters to paper...
Why can the Mommy's of the world never ever be sick????? It's not fair.... Boo Hoo.
Ok.. let me explain my juvenile rant. Don't judge me yet.
My gorgeous, awesome, very smart husband was sick this weekend. And he was absolutely genuinely 100% sick. Sick, Sick, Sick
He had a terrible little stomach bug that had him close to the house and in bed all weekend long. And I felt sorry for him. For a bit. But it's hard. It's oh so hard...
And, to be fair, it's not totally his fault that I started to feel a little frustrated. It's just the life of a mommy... And I can deal. But to help me deal.. I am going to complain here in my open forum for other sick mom's around the world to hear...
When my husband is sick, he is bed-bound. The Patient. No one better bother him. He won't touch the kids for fear of passing on whatever he has and wants to be taken care of. :) Just like me.. or any other human being on the planet.
So what is the big deal?
I just have to point out that in the 4 years of being a Mommy and 5 years of being Thomas's wife and even after 2 C-sections, wisdom teeth removal, an anal fissure surgery (ouch - yes it was the most awful experience ever.... and yes it was due to baby) and getting my gall bladder out - I have NEVER EVER been allowed to lay in bed all day. EVER... ever. hmph.
And not necessary because my husband wont "let" me but because the kids radiate towards me and end up coming upstairs, jumping all over the bed or someone needs to watch the kiddos while my awesome chef of a husband cooks dinner or I hear the cries and can't help but run over to see what I can do.
Or there is a vacation planned and no one is about to reschedule cause I just had an organ removed... Or everyone is bored - no mind I have been cut open and had a bowling ball of a baby removed from my uterus and haven't slept longer than 3 hours in 6 weeks....
Get the point? :)
So, after my very insignificant ear/sinus infection diagnosis yesterday, I definitely didn't get a day alone to lay in bed. And I wouldn't expect it. But it does make me a little bitter...
And I am no different. It is so clear in my mind that I swear my heart skips a beat and the hairs stand on end on my arms everytime I think of it. September 11, 2001.
I am not one of those people that gets tired of hearing about it. I don't change the channel during the tributes.
It really is a day that changed America. We will never again feel the cozy security of our borders or the superior arrogance of our name. The United States was attacked. And on that day, we lost so many wonderful people and they were no different than you and me.
I had just finished college at The University of Austin and had taken a summer job as an apartment locator so that I could make my own schedule and play as much as I wanted until moving truly in the "real world". We had been up late like 22 year old's are and I had slept until around noon that next day. I would always put my phone on silent so I could sleep late. Of course, I didn't want to be disturbed. I was in dreamland and I was as happy as a clam.
I reach over for the cell phone after finally opening my eyes to see 16 missed calls and 13 messages. What the heck? And when I look to see who it is, it's everyone. My mother, my sister, my roommates. And so I press the green button to listen... What is the world is everyone calling about?
Then the messages start - "Jennifer, are you ok? Are you watching?" " Jennifer, OMG; call me. Can you believe this?"
And of course they go on and on.... I hung up and turned on the TV.
By this time, it was afternoon and the news reporters had all gotten the playbacks in order, the planes had already hit, the towers had fallen. It was chaos. I didn't understand what was happening. All I saw was buildings burning, people running and tears. So many tears....
I thought the world was coming to an end. It took me a good few hours and many phone calls to come out of a complete panic. And it took a number of weeks before coming out from the continuous brink of tears.
I still think of those mothers and fathers that are childless, no matter how old their babies were. Or I think of the spouses who are no longer able to hold the love of their life's hand. I think of those poor citizens just walking the streets of New York City that had to watch their fellow man jump from windows. I think of the bravest firefighters that went into those buildings know that knew they would probably never come out. And finally, I think of the men, women and children on Flight 93 that fought the evil terrorists to save thousands more. Hero's. True Hero's.
Thank you to every man and woman involved from that day up until now fighting for our country's freedom. Thank you for keeping me and my babies safe. Thank you to those that sacrifice every day to make sure I don't have to. God Bless America.
Who would have thunk it? I am so freaking old. Less than 4 whole days in Las Vegas, Nevada and I am more worn out than the same running shoes I have been wearing since 2 1/2 marathons ago.... I mean exhausted. And it really pisses me off.
I mean, I went to college in Austin, Texas... Longhorn country.. (Hook 'em btw). And I graduated in my 4 years flat. Busted my bootie... all while getting out to the bars so often at night that we had reserved seats at most of them. I was completely used to going off 5 hours of sleep and then still being awesome enough to pull out B's in Biology and give speeches about who-knows-what in Communications class. I was a true rock star baby... Couldn't be touched.
We got to Sin City around 4pm on Friday after a loooong 8 hour day getting there (thanks expedia) and immediately threw our bags in the room and went down to start the gambling/drinking/partying extravaganza.
Keep in mind that we were up around 5:30 AM that day because of the miserable flight schedule and we're 2 hours ahead so we really didn't get to Vegas until 6pm Texas time. Anyway, we sat at Casino Royale screaming victory over the roulette tables and squeezing through poker machines until 4am... That is 6am San Antonio time. So, yes ladies and gentleman, I stayed up over 24 hours. And I can honestly say I don't remember the last time I have done that. ROCK STAR! I still have it in me. I am NOT old.
Off to bed we go (ONLY after a really awesome McDonald's decision on our way back to the hotel)...
And of course, we cannot sleep to save our lives.
So we are up at 9am the next morning. Less than 5 hours of alcohol soaked, too hot in our hotel room, missing our kids already sleep. Boo!
Saturday is the wedding day (the reason we were all there to begin with)... so in order to be able to watch the bride get her hair done, spend time with the brother in law that came for his birthday and attempt to make myself look presentable - I need another cocktail. The hair of the dog, right???
Bad idea... by the time I reached dinner after the wedding (which was gorgeous) - I was so exhausted I couldn't even eat. Like literally, I didn't have the energy to walk my body back over to the buffet line to get anything. "Suck it up sister" you are saying, right?
So, then there is the Party Bus with the couple of honor and all the guests. Starting at 10:30pm. That's right. Starting at 10:30pm.. that's later than I usually go to bed. And I was already up the night before for 24 hours and had less than 5 hours of sleep. But I gotta pull this one out. And I do.
By the time we get on this decked out, disco balled, rap music thumping bus, I got my second wind. Mind you, It could have been from the 2 Redbull and Jager shots we all had to take (literally my arms were tied), but regardless, I am up. Dancing on the pole (don't ask) and running around every casino floor trying to see what kind of trouble I can get into.
It was a lot of fun. Vegas-style fun. :-)
Wait... here comes 4am. Again.... Ouch.
My much-smarter-and-more-realistic-husband tells me when the bus pulls up to the hotel that "No dear, we are not going back out to another casino. We are going to bed". I fight a little and then concede and walk back up to the room. We get a little more sleep before waking up and basically making the intelligent decision to start drowning myself in alcohol again.
As much as I could anyway. I'm not proud of this next part.
A good friend showed up ready to paint the town red (ready to GO!) and I was so dehydrated and exhausted that when I tried to slug one back when she got there, I literally got ill and had to go back to my room. What kind of rockstar am I now?
What the hell was I thinking??? Passed out with a cold washrag on my forehead by 10:30pm.
Finally Monday came and we were so tired of the drinking and the lights and the clinking strip, we got to the airport 5 hours early.
PLEASE JUST GET US OUT OF THIS PLACE!!!!!
We got home at 1am after 2 long flights. Again... boo.
But I got to see my kids and we stayed home all day Tuesday and played around and cuddled and slept. And I don't want to leave home for a LONG LONG time. I am still exhausted as I write this. I think I might have the longest hangover ever known to man.
I still haven't had a cocktail since Sunday afternoon. That's when you know it was bad.
So, I have to write a little about my experience travelling again this week.
Let me start by saying that if you read back to the past months of my blog and more specifically back to the month when I was debating about taking this position, you'll understand a little more of where I am coming from. When I was underwriting (my previous role), I had the Seattle, Washington territory and I was having to travel about twice a year for about a week at a time.
That was even far more than I wanted to do.
So when this new role presented itself, one of the most appetizing parts was that it required no travel at all. So I applied.
Once I started the interview process, it was relayed that I would need to train in Charlotte for 3 weeks. But that I would be able to come home on the weekends and after that... no mas.... home for good. Exactly what I was looking for.
So naturally, I accepted the offer. Eager and happy for the ability to have more responsibility, more money and less travel.
The call came the day after I accepted stating that they had extended the training in Charlotte to 6 weeks. Yeah, that's right. 6 weeks!
That broke my heart and I immediately thought about rescinding my acceptance. That was far too long to be away from my family. But Thomas and I discussed it and after weighing the pros and cons, we decided that the sacrifice would be worth it, especially because that one large chunk of time would mean not having to travel again. Ever. For the remainder of this position.
So, I went through the 6 weeks... flying home late on Friday nights after a week of hardcore sales training and then waking up early on Sundays to make the flight to be back there bright and bushy-tailed on Monday morning. It was exhausting and somewhat miserable.... as I am sure you can imagine my husbands frustrations, my fatigue and the lack of laundry, house cleaning etc that was getting done.
But we got through it... and we're still here married and my kids luckily still remembered my face.
Fast forward a few months... they want me to go to product roll out meetings throughout Texas.... meaning a few more nights away from home. I declined to go anywhere that would require overnight stay. The out-of-town training was still too fresh and still a very sore subject at home. I was approved to waive that round of meetings. But it wasn't easy.
Fast forward again to last month... a huge opportunity at work for networking, face time with top exects, room to voice my opinion on top, etc. And out of 30 people on my team, I was chosen to be a part of this. A HUGE HUGE PAT ON THE BACK from my managers and a way to really set myself apart from the rest of the drones typing away everyday.
But it's in Hartford, CT... and its 4 days.
I was so nervous to tell my husband that I almost threw up. But I did. And he understood (not with a smile, but understood nonetheless) and I went. Great professional move. Very POOR Mommy/Wife move. Pour the guilt even thicker over my entire body please...
And now, this last trip. Required - and a chance to finally meet my new boss face-to-face but alas, in OKLAHOMA CITY... for 2 days...
I am sure you can picture the profuse sweating, shaking hands and quivering voice that was upon me immediately as I pick up the phone to call my husband. I announce again that he is a single dad for the night (his words, not mine.... btw - can you feel that guilt quilt covering me up to my neck now??)
But he said ok. Well, he said he had no choice. But neither did I.
So, the trip again was occupationally a perfect 10... and domestically another fail. Booo. And guess what the icing on the cake is... Yep! You guessed it. Another trip is being planned for 3 days in November. UGH!
Corporate America is killing me!!!!
But what do I do? I don't have the option not to work. And since I have to work, its nice I have a job I really like for the most part right now. Its just this one thing.
I need to put my big girl panties on, I know... And just deal with the consequences but I am not sure what I am supposed to do in terms of the consequences. Quit?
Find something else that I am not as happy in or as good at but won't have to leave 4 times a year?
Or just work through this and swallow the guilt whole with an ice cold dirty martini after the kids go to bed?
Who knows. I sure don't. But thanks for letting me vent. I feel the good-mood fairy sprinkling her dust on me as we speak....
Well, I am completely bummed and plan on being even more behind on my blogging that usual after this news.
My work internet blocked my blogger account.
This may not seem like a huge deal, considering I shouldn't be blogging or reading blogs on the clock anyway - and I wasn't. But at my lunch times sometimes I would take a minute out of the busy day to write something and relieve some stress. This was a treat.
Now I have to find the time between an 18 month old non-talker, an almost 4 year old "life of the party", a husband that claims he doesn't get enough attention anyway and a dirty house. :)
But here I am. I am bound and determined to keep this updated at least bi-weekly. I have a few seconds now only because my husband took the oldest out for a bit since he is leaving me alone tonight to attend a bachelor party in Austin, Texas. I am being a single mom tonight.
And I am actually kind of looking forward to having them all to myself and then watching whatever I want on TV.... with a good adult beverage of my own of course.
We have a very very busy few days ahead of us. I get to ride the guilt wave again all the way to a quick overnight trip scheduled in Oklahoma City for work, then I am back in the office for one day and then getting ready for my best friend's wedding in good ole Las Vegas.
Yes, I did just get back but this trip is going to be amazing and of course, its completely necessary. I have my sister, my mother, my Nana, my hubby, my best friends etc all on one trip. I am so excited. Lots of good stories hopefully to come on that. But before that and after my OK trip, I have ONE day to unpack, repack for me and get the girls ready for a weekend at Paw Paws . Plus, I need my roots touched up, my eyebrows waxed, my toenails painted and need to get tanned.... Of course none of this will probably get done. I have no time. No time but yet I am sitting here writing this. lol
By the way (random thought inserted here) - have any of you ever wondered how to fold a fitted sheet???? Seriously... I crumple mine up and throw it in the closet until it's needed. I thought we all did. Well, my new twitter BFF Kim, who is linked on the side, created a blog on this very subject as she is the queen at it. Take a look. You won't be disappointed!!!!
I am sitting here in my living room watching a movie. Keekster is sleeping soundly in her crib. Thomas is taking a shower. Adi is at her Nana's enjoying some sun and fun. I've done the laundry and vacuumed the floors. It's quiet. I have some extra time.
Is it sick and demented that the silence makes me so anxious? My heart rate is actually increased due to having a few minutes with nothing exactly planned. Is it that there is something wrong with me or do all mothers that go a million miles per minute go through this?
Don't get me wrong. If I have "funtime" or vacations planned where I am supposed to relax and have fun, I can do it. If I prepare.... But it is these rare moments of piercing nothingness that I have a hard time swallowing. Isn't there something else I should be doing right now? Well, of course there is. There are windows to be wiped down, bathtubs to be scrubbed and closets to be cleaned out.
But instead I am writing in my blog. It is therapeutic. And I am making memories.. logging them for my kids to read about when they are mothers. Trying to figure out if they are normal...
So, that being said. I better write some memories down. I realized that there are a few super quirky subsets that I have never put on paper that if I do not do now, I may forget. In fact, now that I am saying this, maybe I did write these a few posts back, but I don't want to go back and check so I am going to do it again. Ha! Laziness at it's best. Here we go...
- Addison sings the alphabet every time we open the dishwasher. No clue why, but it never fails
- Addison has a very structured bedtime routine... sometimes I wonder if she is OCD. We must get her a drink of water, let her show us how closed she wants her bedroom door, we read a book that she picks out, we say her prayers, she takes another drink, I rub her back for 5 minutes, then she takes another drink, then I do "snug as a bug" tucking her in and then she takes her blanky and ANOTHER drink. Then bed. Every night. You can set a clock by it.
- Kiki sleeps an outrageous amount of time during the day. Usually 12-14 hours at night and then 2 2-hour naps during the day. I keep thinking soon we will have to move to one nap but so far she is not budging. I'm not complaining but it does make me worry sometimes.
- Kiki clearly prefers her father right now. It sometimes hurts my feelings but considering I had her 9 months to myself and 9 months again during breastfeeding, I try not to fight it.
- Addison clearly prefers me. She is actually attached to me at the hip. I know it bothers Thomas a little but he deals. She has to sit next to me at dinner, she cries if I am not taking her to bed, she sits on my lap every time we are on the couch- heck she even follows me in the bathroom and the shower.
By the way - in the background of my living room, I am watching "She's Having a Baby" with Kevin Bacon and it's the part when she is in labor and "Woman's Work" is playing. I can feel the heartache. I'm so lucky for my family...
As always, such a random post. I wish I had more eloquent writing skills like some of my blogging buddies but at least that was a lot more fun than dusting or scrubbing a toilet. :)
My name is Jennifer and I am addicted to Twitter. No - seriously... I am addicted.
I have made some seriously GOOD friends in this cyber world. Like I am talking strong, beautiful, successful people.
It's like a virtual sounding board for people (mothers, professionals, foodies) that makes me feel normal and sane. There are women on here all around the world juggling kids, husbands, work, divorce, family illness, poopy diapers - EVERYTHING. And I love reading about it. Heck, I miss the dang girls when I don't have time to check in.
I was on my business trip in Hartford the other day (they are pushing being a "fan" of the Hartford on facebook if you'd believe it) when one executive said
"I don't get twitter.. "I'm waiting on a'plane'.. 'I'm eating a sandwich'... who the heck cares?"
Well, misses boss lady... I do. I really do. So there!
But we are all so busy these days with t-ball, play dates, networking functions, cleaning house- who ever just feels like they are being listened to... In twitterland, I personally have 185 people who make me feel like they care if my daughter is giving me HELL trying to get her to go to sleep in her bed. I have 185 people who care about my suggestions for a great burger. I have 185 people that care that I am getting on a plane!! OK - maybe not. But maybe so! I care! And it makes me feel important and gives me a little self-worth. I don't NEED it to feel good about myself but it sure doesn't hurt. :)
So, all those (especially over-stimulated mommies and working women) that are thinking of giving it a shot, I say do it. Who doesn't need another shoulder to lean on, another friend to laugh with? I know I'd never turn it down....
Well, I had my trip and got back and I am glad to be home!!!! It was a great professional opportunity but nothing beats being home with family! Thomas is a trooper and does so great with the girls when I am gone. God Bless Him!!!
Kirstynn has had this weird heat rash around her mouth for the last few weeks. We took her to the doctor and she confirmed it is nothing serious and does not seem to bother her but still... I hate it. She has a blanky and also sucks her thumb while pulling her blanket up around her mouth. I am almost positive that this is what is causing it because it is one of those fluffy big beautiful Pottery Barn blankets. But is THICK and hot - and we've tried to supplement with something lighter, but she will not have it. The doctor recommended putting Cortizone cream on it once a day for 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. But it doesnt seem to be helping much. Any other ideas out there????
Addison has discovered Hannah Montana, High School Musical and The Jonas Brothers. It is so weird that I have a daughter even old enough to care but now we are innondated with teenage rockbands. lol She dresses up in her princess outfits, sunglasses, and heels are sings at the top of her lungs.. Man, are we in trouble...
I am headed to Austin Friday night for my best friend's bachelorette party. I am so excited for her and cannot believe the wedding (in Vegas I might add - yeah) is right around the corner. I still feel like we are the 2 girls that used to have every class together and terrorize our Home Ec teacher in middle school. What an awesome history to be able to say we've been best friends for this long. I get all choked up just thinking about it......
Ok, well, this was my check in... Ta ta for now...
I am headed to Hartford, CT on Sunday and I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it's such an honor to be asked to go and represent my team in and I am going to get tons of face time with some really important executive's that could very well help me further my career. I love my company and would really like to stay here and work my way up the ladder where I could really make a difference. I've never been to Connecticut either so that is a treat and in addition - there are some friends there that I wasn't sure I'd ever see again that now I am going to get to visit with. Now.... all those pluses are counteracted by one thing. One HUGE thing!!! Leaving my family. Leaving my small children and husband alone to deal with it all... I actually told my oldest on the way to preschool today that I was going to have to go on an airplane for 3 days again and she immediately burst into tears. My heart broke. And I mean broke in half. 3 days is a long time to them.... And I am sure they are wondering why I have to go. It's so hard balancing real life (meaning work) and REAL life (meaning home). I want the girls to know that they can have it all - the family, true love, work they can be proud of and self confidence that doesn't mean having to give one thing up to be the best at the other. But I also want them to know that it hurts terribly when I have to make decisions like this. But I ALSO want them to not be scared so I have to act like going for 3 days isn't a big deal. It is such a balancing act. Either way, I have already committed to going and it really isn't something (from my bosses point of view) that I could ever turn down. So, I will get in my cab on Sunday with tears in my eyes, remorse in my heart and guilt on the sleeve and I will pretend to be on my top game in Hartford with confidence and poise. And counting down to Wednesday evening - when I can be home again.
So, there is like a million things to keep up with these days.. Facebook, twitter, linkdin, emails, phonecalls, texts. I
It's like a never-ending fly buzzing around in your ear. But I am not above it - I love it as much as anyone and I am as addicted as the next. Where do you draw the line??? It's just so much fun peering into the lives of others and learning about their day-to-day- understand you are not the only one..... I actually feel connected to some.
Like true friend connection. Especially to the mothers.
I think sometimes it is because most of my friends that stayed here in town don't have children yet and live a life of doing whatever they want to do. So I end up spending most of my time with family. Not that I mine really. I am so lucky to have my mom and my Nan and my sister so close. But I very much envy the groups of mothers that have a circle of friends where no one finds it inconvenient to have a 3 year old screaming nursery rhymes at the top of her lungs or gets disgusted at an 18 month old licking my face out of true love....
I know I am going off in too many tangents here but the point is... I know there are too many outlets and its too much to keep up with.... but if it gives you a connection and keeps you sane and lets you know you are not alone... isn't it worth it?
Friday night I went to happy hour for the office (an old boss is getting married next weekend and it was another's birthday) - it was actually a lot of fun and even the new Big Man on Campus went and I ended up talking to him for like 45 minutes. I got a lot of face time so it was well worth it. (made fun of by everyone there, but worth it anyway)....
I went to breakfast at Cracker Barrel with the kids and my mom and sister Saturday morning. They had so much fun running around outside and playing on the rocking chairs. Then we went shopping all around Alamo Ranch and I got some shoes and 2 news dresses and too many clothes for the kiddos.
Yesterday I took Addison swimming (just her and me) at the neighborhood pool. We had a good time. I am tempted to start her in swim lessons so she will get more brave being in the water alone but can't decide if I want to pay for it. I hear arguments for both sides... I think if Addison had a friend to "compete" with... it might motivate her.
I am not being as good as I was with the working out/eating since the end of the contest. I plan to start back today (OK - tomorrow).
I was really lazy the last 2 weeks though and probably gained back half of what I lost but I'm not sure as I haven't weighed.
I know, I know. It's bad. Whipping back into shape.
Well, the month of June just flew by and I have been pretty much terrible at updating the blog lately... I promise I am going to do better.. if anyone is even reading anymore.. Not sure they are. No one comments like they used to... can't blame them. ha ha! The 4th of July was a super fun holiday spent eating, drinking and swimming with family! The girls had a blast and Thomas and I got to go out and spend some grown-up time for his 31st birthday! And I got to meet the infamous "boyfriend" of my sister's. He was pleasantly normal and seems to really like her so it made me happy! Addison is still in the absolute terrible 3's and I hate the wish away any time I have with them, but man... she sure tests the limits these days. Dinner and bedtime every night is a struggle although she is sleeping through the night in her own bed much better now. She is just begging for Independence while scared of everything in the process. Bugs, thunder, Chuck-e-Cheese, the pretzel man at the mall... you name it... lol Kirstynn is finally starting to say more words! We hear mama, dada, sister, nana, grandad and what's that.... She is so different from her sister though. So much more introverted and cuddly. It's sweet.
I just found out I have to travel for a few more days at the end of July.. this time to Hartford, CT. So much for no travelling but its a great opportunity and I am excited that my bosses picked me!
This weekend was a great fun filled too-fast family extravaganza!!! Friday night after work we toted Addison with us to visit our Aunt Chrissy in Del Rio!!! We woke up Saturday and spent all day at the lake and had a blast. I was nervous at first because Addison can tend to be a BIG chicken and is scared of everything... She was a total trooper on the boat though and even went tubing in the back! No sunburns; tons of fun and cannot wait to go back and do it again! Kirstynn stayed home with my parents! And I am so glad she did. First, it would have been too much for her to be in a life jacket the entire time and it was too hot and she wouldn't have been able to swim around. Second, my parents have yet to have Kiki alone. They had some really awesome bonding time and I think had a chance to fall in love with her all over again.
Sunday was an awesome Father's Day! The girls and I got Thomas a cool new shirt and a cute mug with their 3 pictures on it and "World's coolest dad" written on it. I think he was really pleased. In addition to that we had the entire family over for a BBQ. My parents, my grandparents, cousins, Thomas parents and his siblings and their families. Over 20 people!!! It was madness but I think everyone had a good time and it was nice to have all the people together at once!! And Thomas got to use his new BBQ grill that he got for his birthday!
Kiki is still not talking and Addison is talking too much! I have my weigh out for the $600 contest on Thursday! Wish me luck! I am pushing for 12 total pounds!!!
So, we went to see Wicked this weekend (a girls night with my mom, Nana and sister)... was a blast! If you havent seen it, you should make a date to go! The good witch reminded me so much of my Addison. Sadly so. ha ha
Here is a quick one of the kiddos cuddling on the floor watching a movie. Moments like this never cease to make me the happiest woman on earth!
Whew! I haven't been writing because I have been waiting for the end of my story...my weight loss story. But heck, I'll do a short post!
So, about 4.5 weeks ago, I joined a weight loss challenge here at work. You pay $20 and then weigh out 6 weeks later. Winner is the highest percentage of body weight gone! I have been completely carb free (no cheese, bread, fruit, sugar, artificial sweetener, potatoes etc) for 2 weeks now and was exercising before that. As of yesterday, I have lost a total of 10 pounds!!!! That is awesome and the hardest darn thing I have ever done. My goal for the 6 weeks was 15 pounds and weigh out is June 25th. I have a little less than 2 weeks to lose 5 more and I am ready to do it!!! Prize is almost $600!!! As of today, I still have 18 pounds left to get to my college, pre-body baby.... I would love to get to that but if I could lose 10 more, I'd be thrilled! Wish me luck!
As far as pre-school goes... Addison is doing fabulously! She loves it and was even upset she couldn't go this past weekend! I am so happy for her. She is such a social creature and is just doing fantastic.
Kirstynn is such a laid back easy going toddler. She plays so well by herself and just is a joy to be around. That being said, it kind of puts her at a disadvantage. She is so quiet and laid back and Addison is so social and gregarious that Kiki sometimes gets left in the dust... I picked her up by herself on my day off on Friday to just spend with her. Funny how much 2nd children really do have to share the time. I worry because she still isn't talking a whole lot and I am pretty sure that is our fault because we are constantly talking to Addison cause she talks SO much!!! My new project is on the ride home every night I am trying to teach her new words... We'll see how it goes!
So, Addison started preschool this past Monday! I was a nervous wreck and the Mommy-baby nostalgia hit hard. Monday came and the very first thing I heard after the pitter patter of little feet was "Mommy - Do I get to go to my big kid school today?".
She was thrilled.
The first 3 days have been awesome and I don't think I could have asked for a better experience. She loves it and loves her new classroom, her new teacher "Miss Amy", and all her new friends. Every morning I hear the same question and it makes life so easy. Miss Amy also sends home report cards every day telling us how long she napped, how much she ate, what they learned for the day and any comments. Both days the teacher couldn't say enough about what wonderful manners Addison has and what a great listener she is. **Can you see me beaming with pride?** I did have the small voice in the back of head saying - "ha ha - wait until she gets to know you better"...... Either way, Children's Lighthouse has been incredible so far.
Kirstynn, on the other hand, has been having a bit more of a tougher time. She hasn't been wanting to go to "Auntie Alice" and she LOVES her usually. I really think it has been toughest on her and she misses her big sister a lot. After awhile I hope she enjoys having some independence and some individual attention. Breaks my heart though when I see them hugging and kissing and playing all night cause you can see clearly it is tougher for her. They cannot stay together forever though and I know she is strong and will pull through. There is nothing more beautiful than sisters.... I know cause I adore mine.
Just wanted to post my biggest excitement for the month! Addison has slept in her own bed for 2 nights in a row! Seriously - it's been months since that has happened. Maybe our perstistence is finally paying off! She only has to get 2 more stickers on her "Bedroom Board" until she gets to head to Sea World! Yeah for Addison!!
Man, busy busy lately. It seems that I barely have time to breath. My new job is fun and new and allows me to be creative.. and I am doing great, but man, I miss those days of having a second or 2 to google random illnesses that I might have on any given day.
I am having a HECK of a time with Addison lately. This girl has gotten into the serious habit of NOT sleeping through the night and further more - trying to get into our bed up to 3 times a night... no matter how many times we put her back into her own bed. I have done everything from make her a stickerboard to reward her for sleeping in her bed, create "friends" out her toys to make her feel safe, left her door open, closed it, etc. I am even ashamed to admit we gave her Benedryl one night just to get her to get some sleep cause she was exhausted and that didnt even work. I am tired. Thomas is tired. She is tired. I am desperate. Any ideas or helpful hints would be gladly accepted. And some background - she has been the BEST sleeper ever since she was 7 weeks old and she still goes to bed ok... its just in the middle of the night.... Help!
Kirstynn is talking more and more! She now says mama, dada, bird, dog, night night and somewhat of a version of "whats that?"... Its really cute. She is a roamer and generally very quiet and keeps to herself. I love watching their different personalities. Growing up so fast and I was watching Jon and Kate last night and thought about what I will do when my first turns 5! I'll be a mess. Addison was watching it with me and I teared up and she said "Mommy - why do you have water on your face?" I had to laugh and said "Honey, I just dont want you to get big"... and she, of course in her infinite wisdom replied "Ok Mommy. I won't". I wish it were that easy.
I am still working out and still not losing weight. Story of my life. I am ok with it. Whatever. :)
Well, wow. What a wonderful weekend. Vegas was so much fun and it was exactly what the doctor ordered.
We stayed at the Wynn Encore and it was a gorgeous hotel. Our room was beautiful.
We actually made it around to almost the entire strip and saw a show and ate delicious meals and got lots of desert sun. We had a blast.
What is funny is our favorite part of the trip was hanging out at the Harrahs Carnival Court! They have the best "flair" bartenders in the world, the alcohol flows freely and CHEAPLY, the music is rocking and the crowd us fun!
No one won big (in fact poor Thomas couldnt win to save his life)... but we cant wait to go back in September and stayed far within our budget (not an easy feat in VEgas).
My girls did great and had an awesome time at their Nana Pops house! Although I am sure they were ready for a break after 4 days, they took it on like superstars and the kids loved being there!
Now back to reality and ready to start the summer! Swimming on the agenda for this coming LONG weekend!
What an exciting weekend!!!! Friday night was spent in my favorite town in the entire world - Austin, Texas. A bunch of friends and Thomas and me drove up after work, got a hotel room and had a great night out among adults (thanks mom and Steve for watching the kiddos). We first went to an old-school favorite college hangout Aquarium on Sixth to say hello to friend and then proceeded to check out another old buddy's new bar Molotov. We had an awesome time and ate a delicious lunch on Saturday at Hula Hut. Highly recommended for anyone who hasn't been... I did, however, get a full-faced reminder that I am now 30 because I had one of the worst hang-overs of my life. Weird thing was that it was delayed until late Saturday night. I guess that is good that I didn't have to endure it in the car but Saturday evening was painful...
Sunday was awesome... Happy Mother's Day to all my mom friends! We spent the day at my Nana's house with about 20 family members and BBQ'd and put the sprinkler on for the kids... I got lovely cards and chocolates from my little Addison and hubby and some flowers from my mother. It couldn't have been better really. Well, it could have been better in one aspect - I could have not had a WORSE hangover on Sunday leftover from Friday night. Why it was worse on Sunday I have no idea but my joints ached, my head hurt and my tummy grumbled. I remember why I only do this once or twice a year now.
We are off to Vegas on Thursday. Not ready AT ALL...
I am an idiot and started screwing with my blog. Now I hate it and cannot get anything back the way I had it! All my blogger friends.. please send me links to yours so I can add them on to my sidebar again! Ugh!!!! Going nuts!!!
Weekend was fabulous!! Friday night we headed out to this neighborhood annual carnival called Cornyval! It was a blast! Addison is normally extremely scared of just about EVERYTHING! She finally got over it and rode on everything! Even the huge Ferris wheel! I am so proud of her! My little baby is growing up!!!
Kiki on Sunday laid down and fell asleep in my arms and we napped together all snuggled in bed. I actually got a little teary as I dozed off because we used to do this when I was nursing and she was a newborn and I was off work. It was just her and me.
Ever since I have been back from Charlotte, she just isn't as close to me as she was. She latched onto Thomas and that has been her security. Part of me doesn't mind because it gives me a little more freedom, but part of me gets sad and swallows the guilt like a bad drug. Either way - I feel like maybe she is finally forgetting that I left a little and is giving me another chance. Yeah Kiki!
We also took her swimming on Sunday! It was beautiful out and Addison spent most of Saturday and Sunday with her Nana Simon so we had some free hands! She loved it and her bathing suit was adorable!!!
Friday night we are off to Austin, TX to celebrate my big 3-0! I am so excited and am determined to lose 3 or 4 pounds this week before I go. I got my teeth whitened, my skin tanned and my hair bleached. Only thing left for my "dirty 30" party is 15 pounds to be lost...
So, the swine flu is everywhere here in Texas and rumors are nice and rampant in San Antonio. They have closed 3 of the 6 total school districts and right in the middle of TAKS testing. Its crazy! I still am not sure whether or not to believe it or not but I did get an email from a doctor yesterday and this was verified last night on our local news... read it and take it for what it is worth. These are not my opinions or am I stating as fact - but the doctor did in fact send it.
I checked his credentials on the web. He is a real doctor. It was also on Kidd Kraddick this morning Marcus Gitterle, MD: (Director of Longevity Research) Doctor Gitterle is an Emergency Room Physician in Texas, owns a dietary supplement company, and has studied the science of human life-extension for many years. He is involved in developing bio-diesel infrastructure on a local level, has recently built a home powered solely by photovoltaics and tirelessly researches methods of improving health and prolonging life.(830) 643-6166512 452 8533
Date: Wed, 29 Apr 2009 08:55:31 -0500 From Subject: Flu Update from Dr. Gitterle
-- Jack After I returned from a public health meeting yesterday with community leaders and school officials in Comal County, Heather suggested I send an update to everyone, because what we are hearing privately from the CDC and Health Department is so different from what you are hearing in the media. Some of you know some or maybe all of this, but I will just list what facts I know. - The virus is infectious for about 2 days prior to symptom onset - Virus sheds more than 7 days after symptom onset (possibly as long as 9 days) (this is unusual) - Since it is such a novel (new) virus, there is no "herd immunity," so the "attack rate" is very high. This is the percentage of people who come down with a virus if exposed. Almost everyone who is exposed to this virus will become infected, though not all will be symptomatic. That is much higher than seasonal flu, which averages 10-15%. The "clinical attack rate" may be around 40-50%. This is the number of people who show symptoms. This is a huge number. It is hard to convey the seriousness of this. - The virulence (deadliness) of this virus is as bad here as in Mexico, and there are folks on ventilators here in the US, right now. This has not been in the media, but a 23 month old near here is fighting for his life, and a pregnant woman just south of San Antonio is fighting for her life. In Mexico, these folks might have died already, but here in the US, folks are getting Tamiflu or Relenza quickly, and we have ready access to ventilators. What this means is that within a couple of weeks, regional hospitals will likely become overwhelmed. - Some of the kids with positive cases in Comal County had more than 70 contacts before diagnosis. - There are 10-25 times more actual cases (not "possible" cases -- actual), than what is being reported in the media. The way they fudge on reporting this is that it takes 3 days to get the confirmatory nod from the CDC on a given viral culture, but based on epidemiological grounds, we know that there are more than 10 cases for each "confirmed" case right now. - During the night, we crossed the threshold for the definition of a WHO, Phase 6 global pandemic. This has not happened in any of our lifetimes so far. We are in uncharted territory. - I expect President Obama will declare an emergency sometime in the next 72-96 hours. This may not happen, but if it doesn't, I will be surprised. When this happens, all public gathering will be cancelled for 10 days. - I suggest all of us avoid public gatherings. Outdoor activities are not as likely to lead to infection. It is contained areas and close contact that are the biggest risk. - Tamiflu is running out. There is a national stockpile, but it will have to be carefully managed, as it is not enough to treat the likely number of infections when this is full-blown. I don't think there is a big supply of Relenza, but I do not know those numbers. If I had to choose, I would take Relenza, as I think it gets more drug to the affected tissue than Tamiflu. - You should avoid going to the ER if you think you have been exposed or are symptomatic. ER's south of here are becoming overwhelmed -- and I mean that -- already. It is coming in waves, but the waves are getting bigger. - It appears that this flu produces a distinctive "hoarseness" in many victims. The symptoms, in general, match other flu's; namely, sore throat, body aches, headache, cough, and fever. Some have all these symptoms, while others may have only one or two. - N-Acetyl-Cysteine -- a nutritional supplement available at the health food store or Wimberley Pharmacy, has been shown to prevent or lessen the severity of influenza. I suggest 1200mg, twice a day for adults, and 600mg twice a day in kids over 12. It would be hard to get kids under 12 to take it, but you could try opening the capsules and putting it on yogurt. For 40 pounds and up, 300-600 mg twice a day, for less than 40 pounds, half that. - Oscillococinum, a homeopathic remedy, has been vindicated as quite effective in a large clinical trial in Europe, with an H1N1 variant. You can buy this at Hill Country Natural Foods, or the Wimberley Pharmacy. I will try to keep everyone posted if I have any new information. Meanwhile, don't be afraid just avoid infection. The fewer people infected the easier it will be for our public officials to manage it. Marc
Started week 5 today!!! Whoohoo! I haven't weighed myself again but my clothes feel looser! And that makes me extremely happy!!!
Did I write that I finally had my allergy testing done? They checked for 52 different allergens and poked me that many times as well. Good news is that I was actually only allergic to less than 10. Bad news is that those 10 are EVERYWHERE! I was allergic to all 4 types of house dust mites, cockroaches (I know.. I cannot believe that they tested for that either), feathers, mountain cedar, mesquite and dogs and cats. I start allergy shots on Wednesday! I have to admit I am a little nervous about taking shots for 3 years but super excited to be able to go to family's homes at holidays etc without becoming super miserable.
Is anyone else out in blogger world a little nervous about this swine flu? There are so many Mexican nationals in San Antonio that it seems impossible that it won't start spreading here. And I am not too worried about the flu now as it seems pretty mild and not too worrisome. The scary part is if it starts to mutate or if it spreads too fast and the entire country ends up home sick. I have to admit that my husband bought some face masks from Walmart this weekend and there was only 1 other box left on the shelf. Heck - I know we don't need them now but I don't want to be frantically trying to find them if we do. Plus, I am debating with my need to look "cool" and wearing them on the plane to Vegas here in a few weeks if it is still a threat. The last thing I want to do is spend my vacation huddled up in a hotel room trying to fight a fever.
Well, this is week 4 of my 5am gym workouts and I think when I stepped on the scale today I lost a whole 3 pounds! Hey, it's not much but it is exactly what I needed to stay motivated. I have been eating so so so well and am just waiting for it to start melting away! I am on a serious mission. I told my Nana this on my way to church Sunday and she replied "give it up - you've had 2 kids... you'll never look like you used to"... WHAT???? Thank you NANA! I hate being told that I cannot do something. It just straight up pisses me off. So, now its real. I will lose these 15 pounds. It's happening. I will be a skinny mom. Period.
My sister ended up not taking the job in Galveston after all! Yeah! Made my day and and I am glad she did what was best for her. Nothing is the world is worth it if you are miserable.
Addison slept through the night without going "pee" in her pull-up! She was thrilled and it was the first thing she mentioned when she woke up this morning. I am so proud. lol. But seriously, I told her if she could keep it up for a week straight, we'd let her try to go without them. Another milestone coming up....
7 days until the big 3-0. Yes, I'll be thirty. Another reason to get skinny. :)
So, it has been an eventful week or so… The most important and most disheartening is that my little sister (the love of my life behind my kids and my husband) might be leaving to take a job in Galveston. She was offered a job as a sales rep for Schlitterbahn and has been out of a job since being laid off in October. I am excited that she has been offered it and want her to succeed and will do all I can to support her, but darn it! I love my sister so much and she is my best friend and I am sad she won’t be around the corner! Its funny because a few years ago, I would have been pushing her for any reason to be “free” and get some experience away from the nest and gain some experiences. Children change you. Now that I have little ones that adore her; I just keep thinking how much my children will miss out on not having her around. She is the funniest, most loving, giving woman I know. Either way – I won’t tell her all of this and I know she doesn’t read my blog (she thinks I am nuts for posting my life plus she says she knows it all anyway) – so I will pour my heart out here and suck it up when I get out in front of her.
My kids both have colds….. AGAIN! Daycare is a permanent germ fest. And there is nothing I can do about it. And with the runny noses, fussiness and coughing in my face comes the pitter patter of little feet running into our room at 1am. Addison couldn’t sleep in our bed to save her life as a baby and even now as a kid, when she is well, she likes her room and sleeps best there. But as soon as that nose starts dripping, she’s with us. And why is it that they always sleep on top of the mommy?? So a little tired in the Donbavand house but hopefully it will be short-lived.
I am still going to the gym. Just finished my third week but am not seeing any weight lost. I say that but I refuse to step on the scale. I am just waiting for my clothes to fit looser. Hopefully this will change soon or I am going to start getting discouraged. I am working on having slim fast for lunch and eating regular dinners and a light breakfast. This is the end of week one for that so I am giving this a full 2 months before I even think about giving up! Again – I got some great menu tips that I have been working on but if you have any more for me – I’ll take it!