Monday, September 28, 2009

Plain Vanilla

I haven't blogged in a little while.
Mostly because I cannot think of anything either A) juicy enough to justify writing about or B) bland enough that I won't get into trouble for posting it on a public website.

Do any of you out there struggle with the same thing?
I mean, I think I could have the most popular blog on the planet if only I didn't have to worry about the consequences of exposing myself.
But at the same time.. how many of you really want to read about that my daughter said "dada" for the first time or went to a birthday party this weekend???
So, I am considering blocking my blog and making it "private" so I only let approved readers in to see it. Then I can really get down and dirty... But then, what if someone asks me to let them have access and I have to say "um..sorry. But I cannot let you in to see it because it's mostly about you and all the really annoying things you do?..."
Do you see my dilemma? Either way, right now I need to stick with the vanilla. The safe stuff.
So, here we go.
My oldest daughter has started having accidents in her pants. Pee only. No #2's.
At first, I let it go. But its happening a little regularly... Like once a day. And I feel like she is either doing it for attention or just too busy to get over to the bathroom when she is playing.

I want there to be a consequence but don't want to punish her. I took her to the doctor this weekend to make sure there was no UTI or underlying medical issues and got the clear. Totally healthy.
So, what I want to know is.... what has worked for you guys?

She is already is in charge of cleaning herself up and changing her own clothes. She also usually goes and changes herself and hides the clothes in her hamper. So she knows she shouldn't be wet.
What else can I do? Or do I just ignore it?
This parenting gig is hard!!!! I want to do the right thing and not scar her for life or anything but I also don't want pee stains all over my house and furniture when I know she is capable of going to the bathroom.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sick Sick Sick


Ok, this is going to be short and sweet. Well, that is my intention anyway as I start putting the letters to paper...

Why can the Mommy's of the world never ever be sick?????
It's not fair....
Boo Hoo.

Ok.. let me explain my juvenile rant. Don't judge me yet.

My gorgeous, awesome, very smart husband was sick this weekend.
And he was absolutely genuinely 100% sick.
Sick, Sick, Sick

He had a terrible little stomach bug that had him close to the house and in bed all weekend long. And I felt sorry for him. For a bit.
But it's hard. It's oh so hard...

And, to be fair, it's not totally his fault that I started to feel a little frustrated. It's just the life of a mommy...
And I can deal. But to help me deal.. I am going to complain here in my open forum for other sick mom's around the world to hear...

When my husband is sick, he is bed-bound. The Patient. No one better bother him. He won't touch the kids for fear of passing on whatever he has and wants to be taken care of. :)
Just like me.. or any other human being on the planet.

So what is the big deal?

I just have to point out that in the 4 years of being a Mommy and 5 years of being Thomas's wife and even after 2 C-sections, wisdom teeth removal, an anal fissure surgery (ouch - yes it was the most awful experience ever.... and yes it was due to baby) and getting my gall bladder out - I have NEVER EVER been allowed to lay in bed all day.

And not necessary because my husband wont "let" me but because the kids radiate towards me and end up coming upstairs, jumping all over the bed or someone needs to watch the kiddos while my awesome chef of a husband cooks dinner or I hear the cries and can't help but run over to see what I can do.

Or there is a vacation planned and no one is about to reschedule cause I just had an organ removed...
Or everyone is bored - no mind I have been cut open and had a bowling ball of a baby removed from my uterus and haven't slept longer than 3 hours in 6 weeks....

Get the point? :)

So, after my very insignificant ear/sinus infection diagnosis yesterday, I definitely didn't get a day alone to lay in bed. And I wouldn't expect it.
But it does make me a little bitter...


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Some new pictures


I haven't posted recent pictures of the kiddos or any from Vegas..
Here are a few of my favorites.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Everyone remembers this day. Everyone.

And I am no different. It is so clear in my mind that I swear my heart skips a beat and the hairs stand on end on my arms everytime I think of it.
September 11, 2001.

I am not one of those people that gets tired of hearing about it. I don't change the channel during the tributes.

It really is a day that changed America. We will never again feel the cozy security of our borders or the superior arrogance of our name.
The United States was attacked.
And on that day, we lost so many wonderful people and they were no different than you and me.

My story...

I had just finished college at The University of Austin and had taken a summer job as an apartment locator so that I could make my own schedule and play as much as I wanted until moving truly in the "real world".
We had been up late like 22 year old's are and I had slept until around noon that next day. I would always put my phone on silent so I could sleep late. Of course, I didn't want to be disturbed. I was in dreamland and I was as happy as a clam.

I reach over for the cell phone after finally opening my eyes to see 16 missed calls and 13 messages.
What the heck?
And when I look to see who it is, it's everyone. My mother, my sister, my roommates. And so I press the green button to listen... What is the world is everyone calling about?

Then the messages start -
"Jennifer, are you ok? Are you watching?"
" Jennifer, OMG; call me. Can you believe this?"

And of course they go on and on....
I hung up and turned on the TV.

By this time, it was afternoon and the news reporters had all gotten the playbacks in order, the planes had already hit, the towers had fallen. It was chaos.
I didn't understand what was happening. All I saw was buildings burning, people running and tears. So many tears....

I thought the world was coming to an end. It took me a good few hours and many phone calls to come out of a complete panic. And it took a number of weeks before coming out from the continuous brink of tears.

I still think of those mothers and fathers that are childless, no matter how old their babies were. Or I think of the spouses who are no longer able to hold the love of their life's hand.
I think of those poor citizens just walking the streets of New York City that had to watch their fellow man jump from windows. I think of the bravest firefighters that went into those buildings know that knew they would probably never come out. And finally, I think of the men, women and children on Flight 93 that fought the evil terrorists to save thousands more.
True Hero's.

Thank you to every man and woman involved from that day up until now fighting for our country's freedom. Thank you for keeping me and my babies safe. Thank you to those that sacrifice every day to make sure I don't have to.
God Bless America.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

30 year old Rock Star

Zzzzzz.... Head bob. Heavy eyelids. Fuzzy memory.

This has been my life for the last 3 days.

Who would have thunk it? I am so freaking old.
Less than 4 whole days in Las Vegas, Nevada and I am more worn out than the same running shoes I have been wearing since 2 1/2 marathons ago.... I mean exhausted.
And it really pisses me off.

I mean, I went to college in Austin, Texas... Longhorn country.. (Hook 'em btw).
And I graduated in my 4 years flat. Busted my bootie... all while getting out to the bars so often at night that we had reserved seats at most of them.
I was completely used to going off 5 hours of sleep and then still being awesome enough to pull out B's in Biology and give speeches about who-knows-what in Communications class. I was a true rock star baby... Couldn't be touched.

Not anymore.

We got to Sin City around 4pm on Friday after a loooong 8 hour day getting there (thanks expedia) and immediately threw our bags in the room and went down to start the gambling/drinking/partying extravaganza.

Keep in mind that we were up around 5:30 AM that day because of the miserable flight schedule and we're 2 hours ahead so we really didn't get to Vegas until 6pm Texas time.
Anyway, we sat at Casino Royale screaming victory over the roulette tables and squeezing through poker machines until 4am...
That is 6am San Antonio time.
So, yes ladies and gentleman, I stayed up over 24 hours. And I can honestly say I don't remember the last time I have done that.
ROCK STAR! I still have it in me.
I am NOT old.

Off to bed we go (ONLY after a really awesome McDonald's decision on our way back to the hotel)...

And of course, we cannot sleep to save our lives.

So we are up at 9am the next morning. Less than 5 hours of alcohol soaked, too hot in our hotel room, missing our kids already sleep. Boo!

Saturday is the wedding day (the reason we were all there to begin with)... so in order to be able to watch the bride get her hair done, spend time with the brother in law that came for his birthday and attempt to make myself look presentable - I need another cocktail.
The hair of the dog, right???

Bad idea... by the time I reached dinner after the wedding (which was gorgeous) - I was so exhausted I couldn't even eat.
Like literally, I didn't have the energy to walk my body back over to the buffet line to get anything.
"Suck it up sister" you are saying, right?

So, then there is the Party Bus with the couple of honor and all the guests.
Starting at 10:30pm.
That's right.
Starting at 10:30pm.. that's later than I usually go to bed. And I was already up the night before for 24 hours and had less than 5 hours of sleep.
But I gotta pull this one out.
And I do.

By the time we get on this decked out, disco balled, rap music thumping bus, I got my second wind.
Mind you, It could have been from the 2 Redbull and Jager shots we all had to take (literally my arms were tied), but regardless, I am up.
Dancing on the pole (don't ask) and running around every casino floor trying to see what kind of trouble I can get into.

It was a lot of fun. Vegas-style fun. :-)

Wait... here comes 4am. Again....

My much-smarter-and-more-realistic-husband tells me when the bus pulls up to the hotel that "No dear, we are not going back out to another casino. We are going to bed".
I fight a little and then concede and walk back up to the room.
We get a little more sleep before waking up and basically making the intelligent decision to start drowning myself in alcohol again.

As much as I could anyway. I'm not proud of this next part.

A good friend showed up ready to paint the town red (ready to GO!)
and I was so dehydrated and exhausted that when I tried to slug one back when she got there, I literally got ill and had to go back to my room.
What kind of rockstar am I now?

What the hell was I thinking???
Passed out with a cold washrag on my forehead by 10:30pm.

Finally Monday came and we were so tired of the drinking and the lights and the clinking strip, we got to the airport 5 hours early.


We got home at 1am after 2 long flights.
Again... boo.

But I got to see my kids and we stayed home all day Tuesday and played around and cuddled and slept.
And I don't want to leave home for a LONG LONG time.
I am still exhausted as I write this. I think I might have the longest hangover ever known to man.

I still haven't had a cocktail since Sunday afternoon. That's when you know it was bad.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Guilt Quilt


So, I have to write a little about my experience travelling again this week.

Let me start by saying that if you read back to the past months of my blog and more specifically back to the month when I was debating about taking this position, you'll understand a little more of where I am coming from.
When I was underwriting (my previous role), I had the Seattle, Washington territory and I was having to travel about twice a year for about a week at a time.

That was even far more than I wanted to do.

So when this new role presented itself, one of the most appetizing parts was that it required no travel at all.
So I applied.

Once I started the interview process, it was relayed that I would need to train in Charlotte for 3 weeks. But that I would be able to come home on the weekends and after that... no mas.... home for good. Exactly what I was looking for.

So naturally, I accepted the offer. Eager and happy for the ability to have more responsibility, more money and less travel.

The call came the day after I accepted stating that they had extended the training in Charlotte to 6 weeks. Yeah, that's right. 6 weeks!

That broke my heart and I immediately thought about rescinding my acceptance. That was far too long to be away from my family.
But Thomas and I discussed it and after weighing the pros and cons, we decided that the sacrifice would be worth it, especially because that one large chunk of time would mean not having to travel again. Ever. For the remainder of this position.

So, I went through the 6 weeks... flying home late on Friday nights after a week of hardcore sales training and then waking up early on Sundays to make the flight to be back there bright and bushy-tailed on Monday morning.
It was exhausting and somewhat miserable.... as I am sure you can imagine my husbands frustrations, my fatigue and the lack of laundry, house cleaning etc that was getting done.

But we got through it... and we're still here married and my kids luckily still remembered my face.

Fast forward a few months... they want me to go to product roll out meetings throughout Texas.... meaning a few more nights away from home. I declined to go anywhere that would require overnight stay. The out-of-town training was still too fresh and still a very sore subject at home. I was approved to waive that round of meetings. But it wasn't easy.

Fast forward again to last month... a huge opportunity at work for networking, face time with top exects, room to voice my opinion on top, etc.
And out of 30 people on my team, I was chosen to be a part of this. A HUGE HUGE PAT ON THE BACK from my managers and a way to really set myself apart from the rest of the drones typing away everyday.

But it's in Hartford, CT... and its 4 days.

I was so nervous to tell my husband that I almost threw up. But I did. And he understood (not with a smile, but understood nonetheless) and I went.
Great professional move. Very POOR Mommy/Wife move. Pour the guilt even thicker over my entire body please...

And now, this last trip. Required - and a chance to finally meet my new boss face-to-face but alas, in OKLAHOMA CITY... for 2 days...

I am sure you can picture the profuse sweating, shaking hands and quivering voice that was upon me immediately as I pick up the phone to call my husband. I announce again that he is a single dad for the night (his words, not mine.... btw - can you feel that guilt quilt covering me up to my neck now??)

But he said ok. Well, he said he had no choice. But neither did I.

So, the trip again was occupationally a perfect 10... and domestically another fail.
And guess what the icing on the cake is... Yep! You guessed it. Another trip is being planned for 3 days in November. UGH!

Corporate America is killing me!!!!

But what do I do? I don't have the option not to work. And since I have to work, its nice I have a job I really like for the most part right now. Its just this one thing.

I need to put my big girl panties on, I know... And just deal with the consequences but I am not sure what I am supposed to do in terms of the consequences.

Find something else that I am not as happy in or as good at but won't have to leave 4 times a year?

Or just work through this and swallow the guilt whole with an ice cold dirty martini after the kids go to bed?

Who knows. I sure don't. But thanks for letting me vent. I feel the good-mood fairy sprinkling her dust on me as we speak....