The Santa Debate

I had an interesting discussion at work today. 

The boys that all sit around me debated me for about an hour over Santa Claus. 

They all have kids ranging from 3 years old to 22 years old.  And they all felt very strongly that telling their children as soon as they asked that Santa wasn't real was the right thing to do... 
One even said that he never even had the Santa tradition because they felt that it took away from the true meaning that is Jesus's birthday.

Not one participated in the full 18 year childhood of Santa like I did. 
It could have been that I was still given Santa presents until I moved away to college because I was the oldest and I always had younger cousins around that still believed... 
But I LOVED it.  Maybe that is why Santa is so special to me now.

It is not about the presents.  I have never been one to ask for specifics...  But its the tradition... the fantasy... the magic.
I don't think I will fully admit there is no Santa to my girls until they have their own children.  Even if they are 16 years old and watch me put them under the tree.... Nope, I guess I am a liar.

Our children grow up so fast these days...  Reality is in their face so more than even 15 years ago with the invention of the internet and 3000 TV channels. 
What is wrong with encouraging a magical place where you are rewarded for being nice???

I am blessed that my 6 year old still fully believes in old St. Nick and is constantly looking for our "elf on the shelf" because she just KNOWS that he reported back to Santa the night before... 

I am gonna tell the truth.
Santa is real. 

I wonder how many years later...

Sitting here Sunday night, I am having the same thoughts in my head as I did three years ago when I started this blog...
Guilt.

I have always been a hard worker.  I have never been one to be able to sit back and be average. 
In fact, I would rather be terrible at something than be average.  I guess that is why I figure if I am going to work, I am going to rock it. 
So, since I have to work for economical reasons, I will push myself.  To be the best...

Didn't I just write this same post??????????

Well, to be the best at this point in my carrier requires me to travel.  A lot.  
Even more than when I did before.
Case in point, so far this month I have been to Denver, Sacramento, Orange County, Hollywood and San Francisco.
Yes... seriously. 

I come home every trip and luckily after some tight hugs and many "sorry's", it seems that I haven't missed a beat. 
But in reality, I know I have missed a lot. 

My mom stayed home when i was little.  So did my Nana...  so did my husbands mom and so did all of my aunts. 
Addison is going to be 6 this month.  I was home with her for 6 weeks when she was a baby. 
This hurts my heart.

A bit of rambling I know but I hope one day when I print these writings out in a book for my girls, that they know I miss them every second of being gone but that I do it all for them. 
And I hope when they grow up, they can say that they had role models that stayed home and one that worked. 
I pray that I have given them the tools to decide for themselves what is best.  
And I really hope that they have to think about it.
It would sure make me feel better anyway.

I TRUST YOU'LL TREAT HER WELL...

My sweet Addison started kinder this week.  I've cried more times than I am willing to admit. 
But she has done beautifully... 

Below is a wonderful poem that I want to dedicate her.....



I Trust You'll Treat Her Well

World, I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crispy dress.. with two blue eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I Trust You'll Treat Her Well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day at school.
And never again will she be completely mine...

Prim and proud, she'll wave a young and independent hand this morning, and say goodbye and walk with little-lady steps to the nearby schoolhouse...

Gone will be the chattering little hoyden who lived only for play, and gone will be the delightful little gamin who roamed the yard like a proud princess with nary a care in her little world.

Now, she will learn to stand in lines...and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called...
She will learn to tune her little-girl ears for the sound of school bells, and for deadlines...
She will learn to giggle and gossip... and to look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the aisle sticks out his tongue.

Now she will learn to be jealous...and now she will learn how it is to feel hurt inside...and now she will learn how not to cry. No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch while an ant scurries across a crack in the sidewalk...

Or will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn to kiss lilac blossoms in the morning dew. Now she will worry about important things...like grades...and what dresses to wear...and whose best friend is whose. Now she will worry about the little boy who pulls her hair at recess time... and staying after school...and which little girls like which little boys...And the magic of books and knowledge will soon take the place of the magic of her blocks and dolls.

And she'll find her new heroes. For five full years I've been her sage and Santa Claus...her pal and playmate...her parent and friend. Now, alas, she'll learn to share her worship and adoration with her teachers (which is only right).

No longer will her parents be the smartest, and greatest in the world. Today, when the first school bell rings, she'll learn how it is to be a member of the group...with all its privileges, and, of course, its disadvantages, too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies don't laugh out loud...or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms...or watch ants scurry across the cracks in a summer sidewalk...

Today, she'll begin to learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. That "the group" can be a demanding mistress... and I'll stand on the porch and watch her start out on the long, long journey to becoming a woman.

So WORLD, I BEQUEATH TO YOU TODAY ONE LITTLE GIRL in a crispy dress, with two blue eyes, a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I TRUST YOU'LL TREAT HER WELL.

Let’s get together and feel alright ….

That's right.. everything is irie mon...

Saturday Thomas and I got back from our 6 day luxury vacation to Jamaica with 2 of our best friends.

It really was so much fun.

I highly recommend Sandals to anyone considering it.... worth every penny and you come back feeling like you were completely spoiled.

My one bone to pick with this trip:

So, I have always been the girl that swears by an annual adult-only vacation to reconnect with your spouse, especially with 2 kids running around.
My thought process behind this is that you are parents 360 other days a year,, it's ok to take a few to yourself... especially if you have awesome people to watch them and know they are safe.

That being said, I really missed the girls this time. For the first time since they were born, I really felt guilty for leaving them. Maybe its because they are getting old enough to know what they are missing out on, or old enough to feed my guilty conscience by telling me over the phone that they "wanna go home" but either way, I definitely felt a difference this time.

So no more booking something on a whim, time to buckle down and start saving for a family vacation of 4 instead of a small couple of 2.

My very sad flying experience with AA and UA.

So, I have to tell you my story of the worst travel experience of my life....  It's so outrageous that I must write it down so that I can remember the date and people can cross reference and believe me.

I have to preface this with saying that this is my second business trip in 2 weeks.  This one was from good old San Antonio to Hartford, CT. 
On my way out there I was on American Airlines with a layover in Dallas. 
I left around 9am Monday morning.  I go into DFW with no problems...  I was scheduled to have a quick hour and a half layover and be on my way. 

Well, there I am, sitting on my plane when the pilot comes on and advises us that the left engine is bad and that the plane is out of service.  Good to know, right? 
I was thankful to know BEFORE we went in the air. 
So, we sit for an hour. 
Then, the flight attendant comes on the speaker and advises us that they found us a plane but we need to change gates.
So, I hop on the skycab and head over.  An hour after THAT, we finally are told we are getting ready to board. 

Nope, the pilot has now been up too long and is no longer legal.  So, we de-board. 
Then the flight attendants were out of compliance.

FIVE HOURS LATER we finally get on our way....  FIVE.   There were no weather issues.  Nothing. 
Just 5 hours of wasted time in the Dallas Airport.

To top it off, I ask the flight attendant for a blanket because I am freezing and she looks at me with disgust and advises me that those are for "first class only".  
Really?
Bite me AA.





So, fast forward to my flight home just 15 hours later.  This time with United.  A layover through Chicago.


I board, thankful to be on my way home even though they made me check my carry-on bag because they had no room.  We taxi onto the runway and then we stop.  For over an hour.

The weather is Chicago is bad.  And no one is allowed to head that way.
Patience....
We finally leave..

Then terror.

The plane was dropping 20 feet at a time in the air.  I was groping the older gentleman next to me without meaning to out of pure fear.
Flight attendants must sit.  Too much turbulence.  I just want on the ground.

We finally make it.
Its raining pretty bad.   And lightening.

And we taxi.  And then we stop.   Short of the gate.

For almost 3 hours.   There are 80 MPH hurricane strength winds.  Frequent lightening flashing everywhere.  And now we are told to fasten our seat belts and put our heads down because there is a tornado warning.
And we are in a plane....that is rocking back and forth like a massive riot is happening outside.

Keep in mind its now close to 10:30pm.  I haven't eaten since 1pm.  They have nothing but stale pretzels on the plane.  And I have only had one vodka diet in the last 5 hours.
We cant deplane after the storm because the winds have damaged the gates.
Short of being out of compliance with the 3 hour runway law, we get off the plane.

O'Hare is chaos. 
People sleeping everywhere, there are lines 100 people long and my flight shows "closed". 
Having no idea what this means and not able to ask any staff because of the massive crowds, I decide to run for it.  To another terminal.  Across the Chicago airport. 

I make it.  I see people standing around.  They are 3+ hours delayed.  THANK YOU!!!!!

By now my phone is completely dead so I plug in for 5 seconds to call Thomas, tell him I will be home by 2am and board this tiny 20 person plane. 

In the middle of a thunderstorm.
After a terrifying flight on a much bigger plane not 3 hours before.

But I want to go home.

So, we are ready to take off when the pilot comes out. 
Mind you this plane is so tiny, he doesn't need a speaker, he can just talk and we can hear him. 
Apparently we can't gas the plane because there is water in the gas line in the ground.
So we wait another hour for someone to come shop vac out the water, in this tiny plane, with a hysterical exhausted baby crying in the seat directly behind me.

Then we finally leave.
I need a cocktail.  Get me in the air.

So, we are up.  

I order a double Seven and Seven.  I pull out my debit card because no major airlines take cash anymore. 
None apparently except this one.....  because apparently they are too "small" of an airline and don't accept cards.  Only cash.

And I don't have cash.
So,  I get no liquor.
God forbid anyone on these planes have a heart and give me a freaking drink or a blanket after 12 hours....
Nope.

So we land in San Antonio at 3:15am.
Its storming and lightening.   For the first time in 5 months when I fly into the SAT airport.

Am I being punked?
I must be being punked because after waiting for 30 more minutes for my luggage - its not there.
So no laptop for work.  No toothbrush. 

I file my claim and head outside.
In the rain.
To my car and finally get home looking like a drowned rat.

But I am home.  And safe.
Thank goodness.

The month from down under...

This really is going to be the month from you know where.

As I have said a million times before, I absolutely love my job.  The only times I even remotely get run down is when I have to travel and leave my girls for too long.  This month is going to be one of those times.

I am off to Charlotte, NC on Sunday until very very late Wednesday night.  Then the following Monday at the crack of dawn, I am headed to Hartford, CT and then turning around and coming back late Tuesday evening.  Finally the following week I have 2 day trips that will start with me up at 3:30am to Austin and Houston. 
I am not expecting anyone to feel sorry for me per say but just be patient if my temper flares a little in the coming weeks.

Random (word of the day)

So, another random bit of rambling from me tonight but as I was lying next to my oldest daughter Addison after reading her bedtime book, I thought about our evening of dancing to Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" movie.

That led to me wondering what kind of memories she will have as she grows older. 
After all, you never quite know what is going to stick and what isn't. 
I want to create as many opportunities as possible for her to look back with smiles and happiness.

And... after that..  I started thinking about what childhood memories I have.  And man, they are SO random.

I am sure my parents wouldn't believe me if I told them the things that stuck in my adult head. 

And of course after THAT, I decided to write them down. 
You guys may not really care but my kids might one day.  And heck, you never know what the future holds and if I will eventually need a nudge to remember.  :-)
So here it goes.

My top 10 memories (in no specific order):

1. Driving home from Schlitterbaun with my three best friends and my mom after one of my preteen birthdays.  I remember "Wild Wild West" came on the radio and my mom turned it WAY up.  We all sang as we drove home at the top of our lungs.  I remember thinking that I had to coolest mom ever.

2. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and hearing my Dad's voice cracking while talking to my Mom on the other end from their room.  They were getting a divorce.  I cried by myself all night.

3. I remember going to my very first funeral in 1st grade for a boy who got run over by the school bus getting his backpack stuck in the door.  I didn't know him but I remember the incredible sadness I felt and finally understanding what death meant.

4. I remember being the only girl in my group of friends that didn't make the volleyball team in high school and just wanting to go home and cry in my moms shoulder.  I remember walking through the door and her being at school.  Not her fault as she was doing what she had to but I was mad.

5. I remember dancing to random 50's oldies music at my neighbors house in Colorado.  I distinctly remember thinking she was weird but that I was still having fun.  So I danced and never hung out with her again. I was in 3rd grade.

6. I remember blowing my very first bubble gum bubble at my Nana's house on vacation and being SO excited and proud.

7. I also remember dancing to Olivia Newton John's "Lets Get Physical" with my Nana in her apartment at the coast and thinking it was so awesome. And I remember loving her SOOO much at that moment (not like I don't now but you know... lol)

8. I remember learning a choreographed dance to multiple songs (including "Invisible Touch") and performing them with my cousins and my sister at my Maw Maws house in Kentucky.

9.I remember my Nana drying her hair in curlers in my oven when visiting us in Colorado for Christmas.

10. I remember the very first time I had Hamburger Helper cheeseburger macaroni at a neighbors house and thinking it was the best thing I ever tasted and wondering why my mom always cooked from scratch....

So, there you go.  Totally weird.  Totally random.
The End.
But it's my post for today.

May... a month for marriage

Well it's now been 5 days....


5 days since my baby sister got married and had a gorgeous wedding.

It's kind of weird because I knew it was coming but it was still a little bit of a shock to see her in a wedding dress.... kissing the groom.
I mean, come on... she is my BABY sister.

I still think of her as the one across the hall that I would beg not to tell my mom that I was sneaking out her window in the middle of the night.
I still think of her as the 6 year old that I convinced I was an alien and sent to this earth to torture her in the middle of the night.

She was beautiful though and so happy.

They danced to Ryan Adams "Wonderwall" as their song and Jessi (her BFF) caught the bouquet. The kids twirled and giggled to Justin Bieber.
Perfect.  It was perfect.

Well, except for the fact that the limo who was supposed to pick up us girls to take us to the venue NEVER SHOWED UP! San Antonio Limo... nope, they never even called.
But I supposed in the grand scheme of things, if something but bound to go wrong, I am glad it was that.

And this Saturday, exactly one week later, I will be celebrating my 6th wedding anniversary to my husband.
6 awesome years. 2 kids later and I love him now even more than when we said our vows.

Time flies...

How did you do it?

It all started when I went to my niece's birthday party mid November and saw my sister in law. She was a shadow of her former self. She looked fantastic!!! I didn't say anything that day but texted her that night. She told me about myfitnesspal.com ~ my newest best friend (add me nondustbiter)!


As many of you now know, I have been on a weight loss journey since Thanksgiving of 2010. 
As of today I have lost almost 25 pounds.   How the heck I got 25 pounds overweight is beyond my comprehension but it is what it is...

Every conversation I have lately seems to start with the ever popular "How did you do it?"
Well friends, myfitnesspal.com is how...  (and a little help from modern medicine).

I have been trying for 5 years to lose the weight I gained with Addison.  I have run 3 half marathons, cut carbs and everything else under the sun.  Needless to say, I was not sitting around eating bon bon's all day wondering why the weight wasn't coming off...  I wasn't looking for the easy way. 

So after I heard about this application on my phone, I went to the doctor.
Yes, you heard me right. 
So many people forget about this very crucial step. 
I talked to her about all the things I have done in the past, my frustrations and my goals.  So she checked my thyroid, my blood pressure etc and put me on 4 months of phentermine. 

I am not going to go into all the pros and cons of the medicine - you can do that on your own but I will say that it absolutely helped jump start my habits.  I lost the first 15 with the help of the medicine - took it for 2 months and got off.  The last 10 I have lost on my own continuing to use myfitnesspal.com
It is not magic.  I changed my calorie intake to 1200.  I switched up my exercise.  You will NOT keep it off unless you use it as a means to change. 
I get tons of flack for it but it worked for me.  I had no bad side effects and I am continuing to lose without it. The End.
Enough about that. 

So, finally to the point of my post.  The keys to my success.  My secrets...  You asked so here are a few:

1.Go to the doctor if you need to lose more than 20 pounds. 
2. Download myfitnesspal.com
3. Invest in low calorie bread, non-sweetened almond milk, fiber one original cereal and skinny cow ice cream.  They have been staples in my diet.
4. Get the support of your family
5. Get moving.  Bike, clean your house, run, walk or even garden...  It all counts.  And it all allows you to eat MORE!
6. Do not deprive yourself of anything.  I still eat pretty much what I want - I just do it in moderation and adjust my menu accordingly.
7. Be patient.  I lost about 1 pound a week.  That is NOT a lot.  But as my sister in law told me, it all adds up.  Soon that one pound is two, then three etc.  It comes off slowly but it stays off.  Its not a fad.  Calories in, pounds off.  Simple math.

I will post more another time if you guys are still interested.  Either way, I am pre-baby weight.  It was really hard.  It took a while.  I am still working to make sure it stays off. 

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

So, today I was having a conversation with my girlfriends.
We were talking about friendship and how everyone brings something different to your life.


Some (like me) are people pleasers and have many friends.
Some are more selective and save those relationships for only those worthy. Most are somewhere in between.
Then it led to us discussing our children.


Addison is almost identical to me in personality. She is a pleaser. She is an attention hog. She is outgoing and incredibly smart. Also, bossy and talks too much.  Again, just like me....


Kiki is more demure and much more biased in her decisions on who to like. I think she will have fewer friends but most will want her companionship because she will give it all to those few she lets in her life. She's more quiet but also has a mean streak I have never seen in Addison.

It's amazing how different we all are.  I love it.

All of this reminded me of one of my most favorite Christian poems...
I thought I would post it.


It helps me remember there truly is a lesson in almost everything if you choose to find it.


Enjoy...


Reason, Season, or Lifetime


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

Maybe I am just growing soft..

So, I have always sort of prided myself on the fact that my children have never slept in my bed. Even in the trenches of 12 months of breastfeeding, I woke up and stumbled downstairs in the middle of the night... EVERY night.
I thought I was over this hurdle and just kind of forgot about it all. I mean, my kids sleep from 8pm to almost 8am every evening and I guess I sort of take it for granted.

Well, starting a few weeks ago, I would wake up to get ready to work to find the random fist shoved in my face or tiny feet nestled in my back.

Kiki.

This has started becoming a regular thing for her. In the darkness of the night, she somehow creeps in unnoticed with her blanket and pillow in tow and climbs into our bed.

I thought it was kind of sweet at first.. like oh, maybe she had a nightmare or is not feeling good.

Well now, at 3 years old, its just what I didn't want... a habit.
The weird part is, for the first time in motherhood, I don't mind. AT ALL.  Maybe its the fact that she is probably my last one (well, POSSIBLY my last one)... or maybe it's the fact that she smells so darn good. Or maybe I am just growing soft..

I don't know, but either way she is still there..

Here's a shot from yesterday morning.

How can I say no to that?

Thank you Allison for making me come back to my blog

Thank you Allison for making me come back to my blog.  It has been 9 months since I have been back to update you all on everything going on!  And it's such a shame because I really enjoyed keeping this mini-diary!  My new goal is to try to keep back up with it!

The girls are huge and doing wonderful!

Addison starts her second season of soccer on Saturday!  They are team "Soccer Chicks with Power Kicks"!  Our great friend Joey is the coach and we are all excited to see how much they've grown in their skills over last year!  She is also getting ready to "graduate" from preschool in May.  Addison can read an entire book, do simple math problems, count to 100 and sing every word to Justin Beiber!

Kiki is now full on potty trained!  She didn't really want much to do with it but is slowly but surely surrendering to the potty.  She can count to 20, dress herself and basically copy everything that her older sister does!

I am gearing up for my little sister's wedding in May ~ just threw a bridal shower Saturday and waiting for the bachelorette party next month!  Running another 5K on Sunday for colon cancer and attempting the Hell Run in Austin April 30th!  AND I've lost 21 pounds since Thanksgiving!!!

All in all, exciting and wonderful!  I promise to do better at writing!!!