Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A letter to Kirstynn

May 26, 2014 My dearest Kirstynn, Your teacher has asked me to write you a letter that you are not to open until the day you graduate from high school. In 8 days from now, you will be graduating from kindergarten (tear drop). Before I try to give you some advice on your young adult years, let me first give you some insight into where you are today. My amazing girl, you are the most beautiful, loving, expressive and insightful child I have ever met. I look at you often and shake my head, not believing that I had part in creating you. You are 100% your own person. You think outside the box and aren’t afraid to be yourself. You give me the best hugs and kisses. Literally, when you cuddle up against me, all my worries and fears melt away. You make me so happy. I call you my little “fashionista” because you always dress in the most funky, cool way. I take pictures because I am so proud of your sense of self and confidence. You love your big sister so much. You are still sleeping with her every night and although she pretends she is ready for you to move out, I know that she secretly loves it. You are the best dancer and you have become such a great reader! You are kind and emotional and I love you so much. When thinking about what I wanted to put in this letter, I was thinking of all the things that I would want to tell you that I wish I would have known when I was preparing to go out into the world. Most of it you probably will roll your eyes at and some of it you may already know, but I hope that you keep this and one day you look back and make a decision that makes your life better by using my experiences. My biggest life wishes / lessons for you in no particular order of importance: 1) Boys. Guys. Men. Oh Kiki, I already hear you talk about them. And I already see the intoxicated look of awe in your eyes when you talk about a boy that makes you happy. It scares me. If you get anything right in your life, I want you to get this right. Date a lot. I mean, A LOT. That doesn’t mean to sleep with the entire fraternity house, but you COULD let a few of them take you to dinner. Sex is a beautiful thing. I don’t think you should have to wait until you find your husband to do it, but I do think you should wait and do it with someone you love and that loves you back. When you don’t, it feels bad. And that is silly. There are plenty of things in this world that can make you feel bad; why self-impose one on yourself? Don’t pick the boy for his looks. Don’t pick the boy for his job or size of his bank account. Don’t pick the boy because he’s the one you can’t have. Pick the boy that has patience with you. Pick the boy that tells you over and over again all of the wonderful things he loves about you. Pick the boy that understands real love lasts forever and takes work. Pick the boy you would want to be the father of your children. The one that plays with your hair, that one that opens your car door, the one that comes inside to meet your parents. Pick the one your friends like, the one that encourages you to have a life outside of him (but misses you the whole time), pick the one that is nice. Pick the one that is responsible and consistent. Pick the good guy. 2) Education. GET ONE. Go to college. Go AWAY to college. Get a job or two. Some of the best years of my life were away at college. They were the hardest and most exhausting but so much fun. And I learned that I could take care of myself. I found out that in the real world no one is going to make sure I get up for class or study for a test. I learned that If I wanted to live a life where I can take trips, buy the purse, and worry about important things rather than how much I could buy at the grocery store before I went overdraft in my account, then I had to work for it. You are smart and you can do this. If for some crazy reason while you are reading this, you haven’t already been accepted into a college or made plans for the next year, sit down and start doing it. Life goes so fast honey and if you don’t force yourself to take these few years to focus solely on you, then you may lose that chance forever. Education is like a vitamin for the mind. And it’s an insurance policy for your future. Go anywhere. But go. Trust me on this. 3) Friends. Man, at this age, friends are everything. And rightfully so. Friends are vital at every point in your life but probably the most so right now. I want you to remember: You easily become like the 3 people you spend the most time with. So choose carefully. Pick friends who lift you up and make you better. Help them be better. But know that although painful at times- they come and go. Even some of the friends that I thought I would have for a lifetime eventually dropped off the radar. Not because you love them any less but because life happens. So when you have the make life choices, make them based on you. You WILL be around forever. Some friends may disappoint you. Learn when to forgive and when to just move on. You sister is your best friend. Don’t ever take that for granted. Stand out from the crowd when you are walking a line and deciding if you do the right thing or the popular thing. Choose the right thing. If you do it, you are giving your friends the opportunity to do it too. Be an example. A good one. 4) Life Rules. A simple few that you should remember. Don’t drink and drive. It will catch up to you. And that simple mistake could ruin your life forever. I will ALWAYS come and get you if you need me to or pay you back for a cab. ALWAYS. Make sure you say please and thank you and look people in the eyes when you are speaking. Have a firm, confident handshake. Exercise - it’s the best natural stress reliever, it makes you look good and it’s healthy. Travel. Give back. Don’t stay angry – it’s exhausting. Smile often (they say if you smile for 15 seconds then it sends a message to your brain that you are happy…..even if you aren’t). Don’t do drugs – it’s really the smartest way because unfortunately you never know if you are the one that will hate it and can walk away or if you will love it and start a lifelong struggle for yourself – it’s not worth it. Choose family. Don’t cheat. Talk to God. Pray a lot. Be nice. I could write forever and ever Kirstynn Jaan. I want the world to be your oyster. You deserve only the best. You are so special, so important and so incredibly wonderful. I want your life to reflect that. Congratulations on graduating high school my sweet girl. I am so proud of you. I love you to the moon and back. Love, Mom