Sunday, October 2, 2011

I wonder how many years later...

Sitting here Sunday night, I am having the same thoughts in my head as I did three years ago when I started this blog...
Guilt.

I have always been a hard worker.  I have never been one to be able to sit back and be average. 
In fact, I would rather be terrible at something than be average.  I guess that is why I figure if I am going to work, I am going to rock it. 
So, since I have to work for economical reasons, I will push myself.  To be the best...

Didn't I just write this same post??????????

Well, to be the best at this point in my carrier requires me to travel.  A lot.  
Even more than when I did before.
Case in point, so far this month I have been to Denver, Sacramento, Orange County, Hollywood and San Francisco.
Yes... seriously. 

I come home every trip and luckily after some tight hugs and many "sorry's", it seems that I haven't missed a beat. 
But in reality, I know I have missed a lot. 

My mom stayed home when i was little.  So did my Nana...  so did my husbands mom and so did all of my aunts. 
Addison is going to be 6 this month.  I was home with her for 6 weeks when she was a baby. 
This hurts my heart.

A bit of rambling I know but I hope one day when I print these writings out in a book for my girls, that they know I miss them every second of being gone but that I do it all for them. 
And I hope when they grow up, they can say that they had role models that stayed home and one that worked. 
I pray that I have given them the tools to decide for themselves what is best.  
And I really hope that they have to think about it.
It would sure make me feel better anyway.

1 comments:

Christina Purvis said...

I think you are doing a great job and you are terrific mom!!!!!